Embrace the Journey

Well, here we are a full three months into 2014. I don’t really understand the ebb and flow of my need to write, but I try to obey it nonetheless.

I’ve been silent for awhile. Not because I didn’t have anything to say, or that life just became too busy, or any other perfectly rational reason for a single mother of four. I’ve been silent for one reason….this never ending divorce process. When I made the decision in June of 2012 to divorce my husband, I never thought it would be this long and grueling. However, in June of 2012, I didn’t know I was divorcing a sociopath. For that matter, I didn’t know I was married to a sociopath.

As I began the process for sorting out the last 13 years of my life, I was having a hard time figuring out where it all went wrong. During an emotional conversation almost two years ago, I was encouraged to read the book “The Sociopath Next Door.”

I read that book front to back and over and over again. It was like my life laid out in words. Sure, the scenarios were a little different but the context was the same. Nail on the head the same. Needless to say, it took me quite a while to process what all of this meant. But at least I had something to process.

I am still in the healing process. Relearning who I am and what I want. Being robbed of innocence, manipulated and abused all based on my core existence makes it hard road to a new life. But the day I decided I deserved better will always be my independence day.

I don’t think I will talk much about the divorce here. I know he is watching, waiting and planning to manipulate my words and my freedom in order to hurt me. He’s kept me in silence for too long.

This place is my happiness. My chance to express myself and share my life story. When I started to blog many years ago, I started it for my children. I wanted it to be a way for them to remember their lives. To understand their momma from a different perspective. To share in the memories that have made them who they are and who we are as a family. I don’t want them to lose that. Hell, we’ve all lost enough already.

So here I am. A new name. A new look. A new life. Time to Embrace the Journey.

You can read my old posts at Life From the Fort.