From Pumpkinland

Happy Halloween!

 

 

Sweet Slumber

Guess who’s sleeping!?!  Well, not right this minute, but at night.  All night!  The melatonin has worked.  I think it’s a miracle.  Layla is so much happier and so less cranky now that’s she gotten a good amount of sleep.  It took some time, but it’s working!  I feel like I should knock on wood.

Night one: fell asleep around 9:30pm.  Woke up at 2am.  Didn’t want to go back to sleep. After about 15 minutes, she was asleep again.

Night two: no melatonin .  Stayed at my sister’s.  Had a “magic” blanket.  Went to sleep around 10pm and slept through the night.

Night three: fell asleep around 10pm.  Woke up at midnight.  Went right back to sleep.

Night four: fell asleep around 9:30pm.  Slept through the night.

Night five:  fell asleep around 9pm.  Slept through the night

Night six: fell asleep around 8:30pm.  Woke up at 11:30pm.  Went to the bathroom and then right back to sleep.

Six nights of sleeping!  I’m so happy!

She spends tonight at her dads and tomorrow night back with me.  I think I’m going to give it the whole weekend without the melatonin and see how she does.  I don’t want to be giving her a sleep aid every night, but the girl needed to rest.  We all needed her to rest.

Here’s to hoping for many more sleep filled nights.

Crazy Possibility

I think I might have lost my mind.  On my drive to work this morning, all I could think about was Disney World.  I have absolutely no idea why.

Two years ago around this time, I began thinking about taking the kids on a real vacation.  It had been almost four months since I asked Chris to leave and two months into my new job.  I crunched the numbers and worked out a budget to be able to afford a family vacation the next August.  It would take 7 months of saving, but I thought we could do it.  With a lot of diligence and sacrifice, we went to Gulf Shores for our first family vacation.

Not long after we returned from the beach, the kids asked if we could go to Disney World on our next vacation.  I really didn’t know when or how we’d ever be able to take a vacation again.  With the looming high school tuition expense, vacation seemed like a pipe dream…much less Disney World.

But today, I couldn’t get Disney out of my head.

I did some research and with tickets being close to $100 a person per day, there is no way we are going to be able to do the Disney vacation I had always thought about.  However, we really loved the beach!  So, what if I could find a place on the beach about an hour from Disney.  We could do a day trip into Disney World and spend the other few days on the beach.  Now this was sounding much more possible.

After a day’s worth of researching, I located a place in Cape Canaveral, FL that looks perfect for our needs.  Plus, it’s only $100 a night. 

I crunched some numbers again beginning the vacation budget in January (I still have to pay for Christmas).  I factored in the almost $600 a month tuition payment for the 2015-2016 school year and noted that all of my tax return money would need to go towards tuition.  That means, we would need to save roughly $300 a month to go on this vacation.  I think we can do it.  Now, of course, it will be difficult!  We will have to stick to a strict budget.  We cannot spend anything over budget and me must commit to putting that $300 away every month.  Barring any unforeseen expenses (car repair, medical expenses, etc) and deciding not to purchase a house, this vacation may actually happen.

I’m actually sick to my stomach over it.  Stressed beyond belief.  Worried that I should be spending this money elsewhere.  But determined to let the worries, stress and sickness be my motivation.  I want nothing more than to create memories to last a life time with my kids.  Florida and Disney may be the destination we are locking in on, but it’s the journey and sacrifices and planning and commitment to get there that are the true memories and lessons for all of us.

Like I said, I might have lost my mind!

 

Sleepless in St. Louis

About that girl that won’t sleep…here’s an update. 

Plan of Action:

Make Alex and Eva mad by turning off the TV:  CHECK. 

Not allow Layla  to watch anything, including her beloved Strawberry Shortcake for the entire night: CHECK

Have her help me make dinner:  CHECK

Send her outside to play: CHECK

Give her a bath:  CHECK

Take her with me to Alex’s soccer practice:  CHECK

Go for a walk:  CHECK

Make her warm milk with honey and cinnamon and call it coffee:  CHECK

Read her a story while she is snuggled into bed: CHECK

By 10pm, she will be asleep:  HA HA HA HA HA!

By 11pm, she will be asleep:  LMAO!

By 12am, she will be asleep:  SERIOUSLY NOT HAPPENING!

By 1am she will be asleep:  LOSING MY MIND!

 By 1:30am, wrestle her down and pin her to my bed until she finally falls asleep:  CHECK

 If that plan does not work, I am calling the pediatrician:  CONSULTED FACEBOOK…same thing, right?!?

I will most likely call the pediatrician next week, but melatonin supplements came highly recommended via my secret group on Facebook.  The 1mg melt-a-ways are under 5 dollars at Walgreens.  I’m going to need some wine tonight anyway, so I picking them up won’t be a problem.

The kids are with their dad tonight and tomorrow, so hopefully she won’t sleep for him at all either.  Just kidding! The girl is exhausted and she really needs a few good night’s sleep.  I know I do and plan to take advantage of the shut eye while they are gone. I might even take some of the melatonin to combat the copious amounts of caffeine I’ve consumed today.  Then I’ll have it ready for Layla on Friday night and keep my fingers crossed that it works.  I really just need to reset her sleep cycle so she can learn to go to sleep on her own.

Wish me luck!

 

I will allow music to be played, but no shows or movies.  Layla will not allow Layla  to watch anything, including her beloved Strawberry Shortcake for the entire night.  I will have her help me make dinner and give her a bath and then at 7:30pm I will take her with me to Alex’s soccer game.  While Alex is practicing, Layla and I will go for a walk.  At 9:30pm when we are back from practice, I will make her warm milk with honey and cinnamon and call it coffee.  She will sip that and I will read her a story while she is snuggled into bed.  By 10pm, she will be asleep.  If that plan does not work, I am calling the pediatrician. 

Insomniac in a Sleepy Little Town

In my last several posts, I may have mentioned my slight obsession with the Gilmore Girls.  I’m an addict.  Eva and I love it.  Alex has also started watching it.  Grace doesn’t want to get on board, but the cute bad boy that showed up in season 2 might make her change her mind.

So yesterday, in Gilmore Girl fashion, Grace and I stopped for coffee after work/school.  Since there is not a Starbucks on our route from school to get Layla, we opted for QT.  I was slightly appalled in the price increase at the fancy Quick Trip’s for a latte.  I used to be able to get a small coffee with flavored cream for roughly a buck.  I made it myself exactly the way that I liked it and could count out change to pay for it.  At the fancy new Quick Trip I had to order on a touch screen, wait for a worker to make it per the generic instructions and pay $2.79.  And it wasn’t even good.  But, I got my coffee and a lesson.

Later that evening, Eva and I decided to take a walk.  It was a nice fall night and keeping with my Gilmore Girl theme, thought we’d walk through the main street of our little town.  Now it’s nowhere as quaint as the fictional town of Stars Hallow, CT, but it served the purpose.  I took my coffee with me and we chatted as we walked the street.  It was nice to be up close to the area I grew up in and drive through regularly.  We noticed spooky Halloween decorations and a few little shops we didn’t know were there.  Since it was dark by that time, we passed on resting at a gazebo under the clock tower, but made note to visit during the day.

Alex locked us out of the house while we were gone.  Layla was throwing a fit when we left so Alex decided to punish us while we were gone.  We sat out on the front porch for a little while before Grace decided to let us in.  Alex had fallen asleep and Grace didn’t really want to get up to unlock the door.  Layla was still wide awake.

And speaking of wide awake, Layla finally went to sleep at 5:15 THIS MORNING!  I do not know what is wrong with this girl.  I did some research today and have a half concocted plan to get her to sleep.  The main part of this plan is to avoid all electronics tonight.  Once we get home this afternoon, I’m going to make Alex and Eva mad by turning off the TV.  I will allow music to be played, but no shows or movies.  Layla will not be allowed to watch anything, including her beloved Strawberry Shortcake for the entire night.  I will have her help me make dinner and give her a bath and then at 7:30pm I will take her with me to Alex’s soccer game.  While Alex is practicing, Layla and I will go for a walk.  At 9:30pm when we are back from practice, I will make her warm milk with honey and cinnamon and call it coffee.  She will sip that and I will read her a story while she is snuggled into bed.  By 10pm, she will be asleep.  If that plan does not work, I am calling the pediatrician. 

The Weekend of a Single Mom

Well, my weekend went just about how I expected it to.  Friday night, I went out with some friends to celebrate Mark’s birthday.  It wasn’t near as much fun as I thought it would be.  I mean, I didn’t have a bad time, but it wasn’t really all that exciting either.  I did however make him a kick ass birthday present.

A long, long time ago, Mark invented a drink.  It’s half Wild Turkey and half Hot Damn.  He named it Turkey Piss.  For years, whenever he bought us girls shots, he often got Turkey Piss.  We all thought we would die and it was always at a heightened level of drunkenness before we’d comply and take his shot.  It didn’t taste awful but it packed a punch.  A few years ago, this new drink, Fireball, was introduced to the market.  Florida Georgia Line and a couple other country artists speak of it specifically in a few of their lyrics.  It is wildly popular now.  But,  Fireball is Turkey Piss.  It’s the same thing (although the Turkey Piss is much stronger).  Mark hates it that people now order Fireball since he was the original mastermind behind this drink.  So for his birthday, I thought he should have a commemorative bottle of the original. 

 

I got home at a respectable hour on Friday night (or Saturday morning).  I slept well  and was up by 8am, made breakfast and took a nap.  By 11am, my legs were cramping up ridiculously and I was one spasm away from requesting muscle relaxers from my doctor.  I fought through the pain and started downing a bunch of water.  It seemed to help some, but I had a total of five muscle spasms that day.  I decided I really was going to make it a lazy day.  I spent a good couple hours on the couch watching Gilmore Girls.

Alex had a soccer game at 3 that afternoon.  He lost.  They played a few teammates short and really held their own.  But in the end, they just didn’t have the stamina to be victorious.  I decided some retail therapy was in order after his game.  It was a pretty afternoon and I didn’t mind making the extra drive out to Chesterfield to visit my favorite thrift store.  I bought three pairs of jeans, four shirts and five books for about $60.  After my shopping spree, I picked up some pumpkin scented candles and wine.  Then went to the grocery store for a  steak and baked potato.

As much as I would have liked to have a date to take me out to share a bottle of wine over a steak dinner, I was quite happy with my own little date night alone.  I lite candles and  placed them all around the house. I took a long hot bubble bath; listening to music and reading a book.  I enjoyed my delicious meal while binge watching Netflix.  I also drank an entire bottle of wine.  So by the time I was ready to turn off Gilmore Girls and watch a movie, I was already falling asleep. 
 

Sunday morning, I got up early, cleaned the house and started some laundry.  I picked the kids up for Church and learned their dad had not been with them the majority of the weekend.  But more or that another day.  After mass, I cooked up some steak and eggs and washed it down with a beer. 

 

My sister had sent over the 3T fall clothes for Layla, so I cleaned out her dresser and reloaded it with an entirely new wardrobe.  Eva is in desparate need for a wardrobe overhaul as well, but I ran out of time.  Before I knew it, I was headed off to my concession shift.  The concession shift went by fast and because there were enough workers, I got to watch all of Eva’s game.  She won.

I finished up the weekend with a trip to the grocery store.  Note to self…do not grovery shop on a Sunday evening.  The shelves were picked over and there were many items on my list that I wasn’t able to get.  Since the kids are back with Chris on Wednesday and Thursday night and we are out of town on Saturday, I think I should be able to make do with what I was able to get.   I got the groceries put away and finished up the laundry just as the kids were getting home….fifteen minutes early.  Not that I am complaining, I’d prefer for them to be with me at all times. But after sending Grace and Alex to friends' houses and Eva and Layla to his mom's house all weeknd, he really brought them home early!?!  It doesn’t make sense, but nothing he does ever makes sense.

We finished off our weekend with a home cooked meal, a Halloween movie and, of course, more Gilmore Girls.

Small Town Famous

There was a movie that hit theaters last week that I've been anxious to see.  "Gone Girl."  It's based off a book that I have not read.  I have a hard time getting into books or movies that have a lot of hype.  "Gone Girl" has a ton of hype.

But then one day I was scrolling through my facebook feed and saw something about how "Gone Girl" was filmed in Cape Girardeau, MO.  I was intrigued.  The Bar, one of the settings in the movie, looked a lot like The Corner Pub I had frequented years ago in my college days.  After some research, I think that it was.  The bar had been shut down for a long time and it looked so similar to what I remembered.  But, my memories are dated and fuzzy.  The bridge from Cape Girardeau to Southern Illinois, however, was unmistakable.  I drove that bridge many a Saturday night to the good old Purple Crackle.  Main Street looked eerily familiar and even some of the nice subdivision shots felt familiar.  I was obsessed.  I had to see this movie.

I still didn't really know anything about it, though.  Since the kids were with Chris on Thursday night, I thought maybe that would be a good time to go to the movies.  It just so happened there was a 5:45 showing that evening and it was still at matinee price.  It was decided.  I would go watch this movie after work and eat popcorn for dinner. 

I thought about inviting a friend to meet me there.  It had been a long time since I went to a movie alone.  I don't know why, but I've always enjoyed that.  That would be what I did.

I watched the trailer for the movie that afternoon and was starting to pump myself up for it.

The movie was two and a half hours long.  But it didn't feel that way.  It held my attention the entire time.  Seeing so many familiar places almost made me feel like I was watching a true story.  Seeing Ben Affleck in a Cardnials t-shirt was hot.

The kids and I go to Cape next weekend for a co-workers wedding and to visit my sister.  I can't wait to drive by all of the places in the movie....especially the bar.  I just can't decide if it truly is the bar I spent almost every Thursday night at.  I think once I see it in perspective to the town, I'll know instantly.  I can still picture the surroundings of The Corner Pub, but it's been 10 years.  Things do change.  And, it's possible that I'm thinking of the wrong place altogether.  It will be fantastic to be back in town and see it from the movie perspective.

With a Single Step

Last night we met with Eva’s counselor for the first time.  She is a young, (Eva says 26, I say 35) pretty, blond.  She is very nice and seems sarcastic.  I think she will be a good fit for us.  I’m still not sure how my insurance will work to cover these sessions.  In the past, they have covered a set number after receiving documentation for the provider.  Right now we are planning for Eva to meet with Kathy once a week…unless it starts to cost me a fortune.

The first appointment was pretty basic.  We went through a general intake questionnaire.  Eva didn’t talk much, but the questions weren’t really ones she could answer.  I expressed what my concerns were and I tried to emphasize that I am open minded and will work with her however necessary to provide the best resources for Eva.

I even mentioned how I felt like there were things that were bothering Eva that she just couldn’t express, either out of mental acuity at the age of 8 or fear of hurting someone’s feelings.  I expressed that the anxiety seemed to heighten around the times she is going to or returning from her dad’s, but also understood that there could be things bothering her in regards to the way I run our household as well.

She will have her first one-on-one with Kathy next Monday.  I am very happy with this date as it is immediately following her weekend visit with her dad.  If there are things that are going on there that bother her, hopefully they will still be fresh in her mind when talking to her counselor.

I haven’t told Chris yet of the scheduled appointments.  He only knows that I was looking for a counselor for her to see.  His only contribution to the topic was that his child was not to be medicated.

I find that odd, considering in no way, shape or form was medication ever even thought about for her situation.  Sure, there are plenty of adults that take medication for anxiety, me being one of them.  But for a child, it’s not the first solution any therapist would jump to.  The purpose of therapy is to help the child develop positive coping mechanisms to lessen the anxiety.  Medication might be introduced for short term if the cognitive-behavoioral therapy didn't seem to be effective on its own....but that would be much further down the path than we are just beginning.

This is why I choose not to consult with him on most matters.  He has no clue what he is talking about but speaks as if he is an expert.  And he shows no empathy for his child.  He didn’t ask how he could help or if he could assist with costs or express any emotion or insight for what Eva might be going through.  His only response was a demand not to medicate “his” child.

But, I digress.  This isn’t about him.  At all.

I am looking forward to the opportunity Eva has to meet with someone she can share her feelings with.  I hope to uncover the primary source of her anxiety and learn how I can assist her in coping with those feelings.

Beauty in the Moments

Last weekend I was in the land of the Big Easy; drinking, eating, laughing and playing This weekend, I'm back in the whirlwind of my normal life. I'm not going to lie. It was really nice not living the normal life for one weekend. But, nothing lasts forever.

On Friday at 5pm, instead of celebrating the end of the work week with a cocktail, Alex, Eva, Layla and I started the drive out to Troy, MO. Eva had a Girl Scout camp scheduled for the entire weekend and was beyond excited for her trip away. Going anywhere on a Friday night during rush hour is a joke. Heading westbound on highway 70 is a nightmare. I could see that we were in for an indefinite standstill and made a last minute decision to exit on to 79.  This is the route we take to go out to Cuivre River in the summer.  I didn’t know exactly how to get to the Girl Scout camp via this route but I figured with my stellar sense of direction and my GPS, I would find it.  Even if it took us longer to get there, it was one thousand times better than sitting on the highway.

It turns out we went down some back country roads that provided us with a beautiful landscape as the sun went down. 

Once Eva was safely off at camp, Alex, Layla and I started the journey back home.  Alex and I were starving and I was fantasizing about a big juicy steak and a baked potato.  I had a couple of places in mind that were amazing steak houses and kid friendly for a late Friday evening, but as we got closer to home I realized I did not want to be out in public.  And I’m pretty sure none of us were dressed as Friday night fancy.  I decided I’d just swing by the grocery store and pick up a few steaks and potatoes and cook them up when we got home.  Then I realize the clock was inching closer and closer to 8 pm. I no longer wanted to cook anything at all and was pretty sure I could eat my own hand.  Fancy food did not matter any more so I deterred the question to the boy.  I’m hungry.  Pick dinner.  McDonald’s it was.

Layla went to sleep pretty quickly after we got home, which is surprising for her.  Later I would come to realize that the early bedtime would only result in her being up and at ‘em at 2am.  But, Alex and I enjoyed our few hours by watching a really creepy movie, “Possession.”  It was rate PG-13 so I didn’t think it would be too bad, but we were both freaked out.  Alex asked to sleep in my bed with me that night and since Grace was going to be home late from Six Flags, I agreed.  It could have been because I was a little frightened, too, but I’m going to say I did it for the boy.  However, I didn’t get much more than a few hours of shut eye in my bed before I was back up with Layla.  I woke early the next morning on the couch with a neck ache.

Saturday evening, Grace was going out…again.  She had accepted an invitation to CBC’s homecoming and her “date” was picking her up and bringing her home.  She looked lovely as always and I pondered just how it was possible I would be old enough for her to be going to a boy’s homecoming.

Alex played in a night soccer game.  It was cold and Layla slept the entire time which meant another late night for me with a non-sleeping three year old.  His team played really well defensively the first half.  The second half, they gave up 5 goals.  Alex had made plans to stay the night at a teammates house after the game and to go to Church with them in the morning.  Layla and I went home and were soon joined by Grace gushing about the super cute, popular boy that talked to her several times and had their pictures taken together at the dance.  This boy was not her date.  Oh boy, what does my future hold in regards to her dating! 

Sunday morning, I got up early, told the girls I’d be back in the afternoon, poured a cup of pumpkin spice coffee and headed back out to the Girl Scout camp.  Eva had requested that I come out early so that I could go canoeing with her.  I took the back country roads again because the beauty in the fall was something I deserved to see if I was going to be up this early.

I got to camp early and got to help clean….because I hadn’t done enough of that at my house all weekend.  Then we hiked to the lake.  This view made my entire weekend.

Homesick

After a weekend gallivant in in the Big Easy and an early morning return home, I was really looking forward to sleeping away the morning hours on Monday. 

Grace and I had been texting over the course of Sunday night.  She kept saying how she didn’t want to go to school on Monday.  I couldn’t get any information out of her as to why.  I kept prying, but to no avail.  She said she had been thinking about a lot of things over the weekend and just didn’t want to go to school.  Obviously this concerned me.  Did something happen?  Does she not like her school?  It just didn’t seem like Grace to be in the somber almost depressed state.  I told her to sleep on it and let me know how she was feeling in the morning.

Monday morning at 7am, my phone started buzzing.  Text messages came pouring in from Grace.  She had her dad take her to school, but she wants to come home.  Again, no explanation, just that she wanted to come home.  I conceded.  I assumed that since I was picking her up before school actually started, all she would need to do was leave.  So, in a sleepy haze I drove to her school in my pajamas and texted her that I was there.

That’s when she told me I’d have to come to the office to sign her out.  I was mortified as I walked down the student filled halls in old sweatpants and hoodie sans bra.  My makeup was smeared and my hair a wreck.  Grace was quick to comment on my appearance which did not make matter any better for either of us.

We went home, but she still wouldn’t say what was bothering her.  At this point, I began to realize that there really wasn’t anything bothering her…other than being homesick.  Since I was out of town over the weekend they stayed one extra night at their dad’s and I didn’t see them at soccer games and for Mass as I would normally on his weekends.

Grace climbed immediately into her bed.  I offered for her to come sleep with me, but she declined stating that she really just wanted to be in her own bed in her own room.

At 11am, my phone was ringing again.  Good Lord, what does a lady have to do to get some sleep on a Monday morning!?!

This time it was my mom.  Eva was in her room at school. She didn’t feel well; complaining of a headache and stomach ache.  As long as I was okay with it, she was going to send Eva to the office to call me to pick her up.

So, here I go again.  To a different school to get a different kid in the morning on the day I took off work to sleep.  I had my mom check in with Alex to see if he needed to come home since that seemed to be the popular thing to do that day, but he was okay with staying at school (Later I find out she didn’t really ask him.  If she would have, he would have come home too, or so he said).

Eva looked fatigued and sad when I got there.  She gave me a big hug and told me how happy she was to be going home.  We climbed back into my bed and we both napped.  I also think she was homesick.  Which was starting to make me feel like the worst mother ever.  Who was I to go on a weekend trip with my friends and leave my kids to suffer?

The next day, Grace was all better and went back to school.  Eva, however, wasn’t.  She still complained of a headache and stomach ache and asked to go to the doctor.  I took another day off work to stay home with her.  I’m pretty sure I was severely dehydrated those two days because everything was blurring and loopy.  I needed the extra day off just as much as she did.

At the doctor’s office, they ran all the normal tests as well as strep and mono.  As suspected, everything came back negative.  We then talked about emotional issues and the doctor concurred that she might be suffering from anxiety and/or depression.  I got a few referrals to pediatric counselors. 

A couple years back, Grace was having some issues with focus and attention.  She was later diagnosed with ADD and took medication for about a year.  The medication helped her realize what it felt like to be able to focus and with the help of a fantastic counselor she developed coping mechanisms and routines to fight the ADD naturally.  She has excelled academically and socially over the last few years and all of it has been medicine free.

I contacted the counselor she saw, but unfortunately she has relocated to Troy.  I made an appointment with a different counselor in the same group we had seen before and my hands are folded in prayer Eva will like her.

On the drive back from the doctor’s office, we talked about how she might be feeling.  She was having a hard time putting her feelings into words and I could sense that there were some things she just didn’t know how to tell me.  Eva agreed that she wanted to talk to the counselor.  I let the subject drop once we got home. 

Last night, the kids were with Chris again.  Eva was visibly upset that she would have to spend another night there…especially since they just got home a few days before.   I told her I would see what I could do to get her dad to allow her to come home on Wednesday night.  I asked her if she wanted to talk to him about it, but she vehemently said she did not feel comfortable talking to him about anything.  Reluctantly, and not without a verbal lashing aimed at me and my parenting, Chris allowed Eva to come home.  Of course when presenting it to her, he made it seem like it was all his idea.  Whatever.  I picked her up from soccer and we went home.

We are just beginning to dig into what may be troubling my little girl, but for one night  it felt absolutely perfect to be snuggled on our couch together watching “The Gilmore Girls.” 

New Orleans

New Orleans was great!  We left around 11 on Thursday night.  Mark picked us all up and drove through the night.  Making stops every couple of hours to stretch, pee and fill up the tank, we arrived in New Orleans at 10 on Friday morning.  I was worried that the long drive would render me useless the next day and was saddened by the thought that the first hours in New Orleans would be spent sleeping.  However, I was able to get quite a bit of sleep on the drive down.  I did learn that it is much easier to sleep in a car when I’m not driving and it’s much more comfortable to sleep in a car when I was five years old.  But none the less, I got some shut eye.

Darice, who decided at the last minute to join the group (we all saw that coming, though) called the hotel as we pulled into New Orleans.  She convinced them to let us have an early check in at no extra cost.  With that smooth move, she earned her place on our trip.

 

We unloaded and set up our rooms.  Because the lady at the front desk was a certifiable idiot, we got our room upgraded to one with a view.  And because it was Friday and we were pretty well rested, we enjoyed the view with a Bloody Mary in hand.
 

 

After a few hours in the hotel room, we were starving and itching to explore the town.  We headed out in search of more cocktails and Cajun confections.

Debbie, who has the arthritis,  struggled a little with the mile walk from the hotel through the French Quarters past Jackson Square to Pat O'Brein's bar who was serving three dollar MILF-a-rita’s.  We stopped every few blocks to let Debbie rest and took in the scenery.  I couldn’t believe I was actually in New Orleans.  The French Quarter  looked exactly how I imagined it would.  The only difference was that I was actually there.

 

Upon entering Pat O’Brien’s, we knocked back a few drinks and were feeling pretty good.  The bar is a little weird that you can only order food in one section on the place.  Reluctantly we left the cozy little bar and sat outside in the open air restaurant.  Debbie and I split a sampler of Red Beans and Rice, Gumbo and Jambalaya.   The Jambalaya was the spiciest thing I have ever eaten and thus my favorite.  Thank God for the Prilosec  Debbie provided prior to leaving the hotel.  Mark and Amy had napped upon checking into the hotel and ended up meeting up with us around the time we were eating. 

 

 

 

 

With a very good buzz, we made our way back to the hotel.   We stopped at a few vendors along Bourbon Street and got a few more cocktails for the walk.  Debbie and Darcie visited a Voodoo shop or two while Amy,  Mark and I just did some people watching.  Voodoo isn't really my thing.  After a while, Debbie’s legs were really bothering her.  Darcie hailed a Pedi-cab and off went the ladies.  Since the pedi-cabs aren’t all that big, I decided that I could walk the rest of the way.  Mark and I made our way down Bourbon and back to the hotel only a few minutes after the ladies arrived.  With a few hours to spare before the official party for the MILF March, I took a little nap so that I would be refreshed and ready to go. 

Here's the part I where I should say MILF doesn't exactly mean what you probably think it means.  Although, Dan looked up the meaning a little too late and sent Darcie a hilarious facebook message about the meaning and why didn't he know that before he let her go, we decided that it stood for Moms In Love with Fundraising.  I thought that up and still think it was quite clever on the spur of the moment. 

The actual MILF as in the Milliion MILF March sponsored and run by Hot Mess Mom and Mafia stands for,

Hot Messes Unite!
JOIN US FOR A CHARITY AUCTION, A PUB CRAWL, OR BOTH! BREEDERS, NON-BREEDERS… COME ONE, COME ALL! A GREAT TIME FOR A GREAT CAUSE…

What is a MILF? {according to me}
We are not your mother’s mother. We have never been to a beauty parlor. We do not have our hair ‘set’. We ROCK 40… We can bring home the bacon and fry in up in a pan. {We may let you forget you’re a man because we are really focused on that bacon} We wear yoga pants and 5 inch heels, although never at the same time. We range in size from 2- 22. We range in age from 30-60. We may or may not have children. We may or may not be married. Hell, we may or may not be women.
We are living in a busy crazy financially burdened time, but realize the importance of taking time out for FUN. We have jobs, kids, pets, charities, spouses, parents, friends, and countless other responsibilities that we do gladly and we do well. We are imperfect. We embrace our flaws. We are hot messes and we are proud of it.
And for this Million Milf March~ we celebrate OURSELVES. We celebrate our wrinkles and muffin tops. We will be selfish. We will be gluttonous. We will be kid-free! We will eat and drink and be merry. We will not be judged. We will raise money for a good cause. We will march. {and by ‘march’ we mean ‘stroll from bar to bar’}
We are MILFs.

The party on Friday night was held the Howlin’ Wolf in the Warehouse District.  Our hotel sat in between the Warehouse District and the French Quarter, so it was a pretty easy walk to wherever we wanted to go.  The party on Friday included food, beer, a dance floor and a photo booth.  We all had a great time!  Now, some of the other moms that were there…let’s just say they had too good of a time.  And they don’t get out very much.

 

 

 

The night would not have been complete without some questionable pics in the photo booth!

 

We made our way back through the Warehouse District around 11 pm when the party ended.  We stopped at a couple bars along the way, but didn’t purchase any more drinks.  Mark and I were ready to hit up Bourbon Street, but were told no by the rest of the group.

Instead, we went to our rooms and crashed.

I woke up early the next morning with a tinge of a headache and an unsettled stomach.  While Debbie and Darcie were still sleeping, I took a shower and scarfed down a cereal bar and an entire Gatorade.  By nine, I had fallen back to sleep.

At ten, we were all up and moving.  It was time to find some real breakfast food...real fast.  Of course, we may be the worst decision makers ever, so I ended up puking twice before we actually headed out for food.  We stopped at the hotel restaurant but almost fainted at the prices.  We went over to the casino, but $35 for brunch was just too much.  We were walking towards a café just a few blocks away when we passed an Arby’s.  I made an executive decision (given Debbie’s leg pain and the fact I might eat my own arm) and ordered lunch.

After our roast beef and fries, we went back to the hotel to get ready for the Million MILF March Pub Crawl.  Again, this was happening throughout the Warehouse District.  Since I had showered and gotten ready for the day early that morning, I had a little free time while Debbie and Darcie were prepping.  Our hotel was on the River Walk, soI took a little time to myself to explore.  With a rum and coke in hand, I walked along the mighty Mississippi watching the barges go by.  The restaurants had jazz music pouring out and I got a really good N’Awlin’s feel going.  I sat down by the fountain and face-timed with the kids.  It was really cool to show them the city, even if just over a video chat.  It was a beautiful 75 degree day and I was brought to tears a few times just over the majesty of the town.

 

 

As I was waiting for the ladies to meet me at the front of the hotel, I chatted up a Pedi-Cab driver and secured our ride to Ernst Café….the first stop on the March. 

 

 

 

 

Again, they had free beer and other cheap drinks.  I, of course, stuck with the free beer.

The pub crawl consisted of over 200 moms raising money for charity. 

 

 

We worked our way through the Warehouse District making stops at a Barcadia, The District Lounge and ending at the Red Eye.  We ate more beans and rice and at the Red Eye and had some prime real estate at an outdoor table.  As the day turned into night, we watched moms turn into sloppy, falling down drunks.  We scoffed at their amateur drinking abilities and they awes about our Women’s Therapy Network night outs.  Soon, the sun was going down and the bartenders were taking off their clothes. 

 

 

 

Since this is so not our scene, we hailed a cab and went to Bourbon Street.  The Cardinals were in a play-off game and that’s kind of a big deal to us.  We found Bayou Burger.  Darcie worked her magic and got the game on the big screen and with a little “Let’s go Cardinals!” cheer we realized we were amongst fans!

 

Amy tired out early after the game and took a cab back to the hotel.  Darcie and Debbie were having a great time at the sports bar.  Mark and I hit Bourbon Street!

Seriously, it was one of the best nights of my life.  Although a little hazy on details, just being in the crowds on Bourbon Street on a Saturday night was amazing.  I also fulfilled one of my long time dreams of being on a balcony on Bourbon.

We ventured in and out of several venues, navigated the crowds while trying to avoid the transvestites and finally came across a country western bar.  Since I was still nursing my beer from the Bajou Burger, they wouldn’t let us in with drinks in our hands.  We stood outside and listened to the music and chatted with each other, passerbys and the bouncer.  Either the bouncer found us quite annoying or decided he liked us. He poured my beer into one of their cups and sent us inside.  We danced and sang and a really great time.  After walking back from Bourbon Street, we went down to the River Walk for a little bit.  By 4 am, my bed was calling my name and I felt that I accomplished whatever mission I had set out on for a real night out in New Orleans.

The next morning, we got up 20 minutes before check out time, threw all of our stuff in our bags and left the hotel.  We drove over to the Jackson Square and I went to Mass at St. Louis Cathedral while everyone else went to breakfast. 

 

 

 

I met them outside of the cathedral after mass and was delighted to find that Amy brought me Eggs Benedict with Cajun sausage.  Oh my gosh was it ever so delicious!

From there we went to the St. Louis Cemetery to mosey around the mausoleums.  My fascination with cemeteries only grew that much more after this tour.  It was really magnificent.

After the cemetery, we started the journey home.  I slept off and on, but not well.  The drive seemed to take forever, but I managed.  I got home around 1am and crawled into bed.

As nervous as I was about this entire trip, I am so glad I went!  I even came home $150 under budget!

The kids were really happy to have me home too!  I bought them all shirts and a magnet for the fridge.

 

Sometimes it’s good to get away! 

Or as Mark Twain said,

 

Twenty years from now  you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor.  Catch the trade winds in your sails. 

Explore. Dream. Discover.