New Orleans

New Orleans was great!  We left around 11 on Thursday night.  Mark picked us all up and drove through the night.  Making stops every couple of hours to stretch, pee and fill up the tank, we arrived in New Orleans at 10 on Friday morning.  I was worried that the long drive would render me useless the next day and was saddened by the thought that the first hours in New Orleans would be spent sleeping.  However, I was able to get quite a bit of sleep on the drive down.  I did learn that it is much easier to sleep in a car when I’m not driving and it’s much more comfortable to sleep in a car when I was five years old.  But none the less, I got some shut eye.

Darice, who decided at the last minute to join the group (we all saw that coming, though) called the hotel as we pulled into New Orleans.  She convinced them to let us have an early check in at no extra cost.  With that smooth move, she earned her place on our trip.

 

We unloaded and set up our rooms.  Because the lady at the front desk was a certifiable idiot, we got our room upgraded to one with a view.  And because it was Friday and we were pretty well rested, we enjoyed the view with a Bloody Mary in hand.
 

 

After a few hours in the hotel room, we were starving and itching to explore the town.  We headed out in search of more cocktails and Cajun confections.

Debbie, who has the arthritis,  struggled a little with the mile walk from the hotel through the French Quarters past Jackson Square to Pat O'Brein's bar who was serving three dollar MILF-a-rita’s.  We stopped every few blocks to let Debbie rest and took in the scenery.  I couldn’t believe I was actually in New Orleans.  The French Quarter  looked exactly how I imagined it would.  The only difference was that I was actually there.

 

Upon entering Pat O’Brien’s, we knocked back a few drinks and were feeling pretty good.  The bar is a little weird that you can only order food in one section on the place.  Reluctantly we left the cozy little bar and sat outside in the open air restaurant.  Debbie and I split a sampler of Red Beans and Rice, Gumbo and Jambalaya.   The Jambalaya was the spiciest thing I have ever eaten and thus my favorite.  Thank God for the Prilosec  Debbie provided prior to leaving the hotel.  Mark and Amy had napped upon checking into the hotel and ended up meeting up with us around the time we were eating. 

 

 

 

 

With a very good buzz, we made our way back to the hotel.   We stopped at a few vendors along Bourbon Street and got a few more cocktails for the walk.  Debbie and Darcie visited a Voodoo shop or two while Amy,  Mark and I just did some people watching.  Voodoo isn't really my thing.  After a while, Debbie’s legs were really bothering her.  Darcie hailed a Pedi-cab and off went the ladies.  Since the pedi-cabs aren’t all that big, I decided that I could walk the rest of the way.  Mark and I made our way down Bourbon and back to the hotel only a few minutes after the ladies arrived.  With a few hours to spare before the official party for the MILF March, I took a little nap so that I would be refreshed and ready to go. 

Here's the part I where I should say MILF doesn't exactly mean what you probably think it means.  Although, Dan looked up the meaning a little too late and sent Darcie a hilarious facebook message about the meaning and why didn't he know that before he let her go, we decided that it stood for Moms In Love with Fundraising.  I thought that up and still think it was quite clever on the spur of the moment. 

The actual MILF as in the Milliion MILF March sponsored and run by Hot Mess Mom and Mafia stands for,

Hot Messes Unite!
JOIN US FOR A CHARITY AUCTION, A PUB CRAWL, OR BOTH! BREEDERS, NON-BREEDERS… COME ONE, COME ALL! A GREAT TIME FOR A GREAT CAUSE…

What is a MILF? {according to me}
We are not your mother’s mother. We have never been to a beauty parlor. We do not have our hair ‘set’. We ROCK 40… We can bring home the bacon and fry in up in a pan. {We may let you forget you’re a man because we are really focused on that bacon} We wear yoga pants and 5 inch heels, although never at the same time. We range in size from 2- 22. We range in age from 30-60. We may or may not have children. We may or may not be married. Hell, we may or may not be women.
We are living in a busy crazy financially burdened time, but realize the importance of taking time out for FUN. We have jobs, kids, pets, charities, spouses, parents, friends, and countless other responsibilities that we do gladly and we do well. We are imperfect. We embrace our flaws. We are hot messes and we are proud of it.
And for this Million Milf March~ we celebrate OURSELVES. We celebrate our wrinkles and muffin tops. We will be selfish. We will be gluttonous. We will be kid-free! We will eat and drink and be merry. We will not be judged. We will raise money for a good cause. We will march. {and by ‘march’ we mean ‘stroll from bar to bar’}
We are MILFs.

The party on Friday night was held the Howlin’ Wolf in the Warehouse District.  Our hotel sat in between the Warehouse District and the French Quarter, so it was a pretty easy walk to wherever we wanted to go.  The party on Friday included food, beer, a dance floor and a photo booth.  We all had a great time!  Now, some of the other moms that were there…let’s just say they had too good of a time.  And they don’t get out very much.

 

 

 

The night would not have been complete without some questionable pics in the photo booth!

 

We made our way back through the Warehouse District around 11 pm when the party ended.  We stopped at a couple bars along the way, but didn’t purchase any more drinks.  Mark and I were ready to hit up Bourbon Street, but were told no by the rest of the group.

Instead, we went to our rooms and crashed.

I woke up early the next morning with a tinge of a headache and an unsettled stomach.  While Debbie and Darcie were still sleeping, I took a shower and scarfed down a cereal bar and an entire Gatorade.  By nine, I had fallen back to sleep.

At ten, we were all up and moving.  It was time to find some real breakfast food...real fast.  Of course, we may be the worst decision makers ever, so I ended up puking twice before we actually headed out for food.  We stopped at the hotel restaurant but almost fainted at the prices.  We went over to the casino, but $35 for brunch was just too much.  We were walking towards a café just a few blocks away when we passed an Arby’s.  I made an executive decision (given Debbie’s leg pain and the fact I might eat my own arm) and ordered lunch.

After our roast beef and fries, we went back to the hotel to get ready for the Million MILF March Pub Crawl.  Again, this was happening throughout the Warehouse District.  Since I had showered and gotten ready for the day early that morning, I had a little free time while Debbie and Darcie were prepping.  Our hotel was on the River Walk, soI took a little time to myself to explore.  With a rum and coke in hand, I walked along the mighty Mississippi watching the barges go by.  The restaurants had jazz music pouring out and I got a really good N’Awlin’s feel going.  I sat down by the fountain and face-timed with the kids.  It was really cool to show them the city, even if just over a video chat.  It was a beautiful 75 degree day and I was brought to tears a few times just over the majesty of the town.

 

 

As I was waiting for the ladies to meet me at the front of the hotel, I chatted up a Pedi-Cab driver and secured our ride to Ernst Café….the first stop on the March. 

 

 

 

 

Again, they had free beer and other cheap drinks.  I, of course, stuck with the free beer.

The pub crawl consisted of over 200 moms raising money for charity. 

 

 

We worked our way through the Warehouse District making stops at a Barcadia, The District Lounge and ending at the Red Eye.  We ate more beans and rice and at the Red Eye and had some prime real estate at an outdoor table.  As the day turned into night, we watched moms turn into sloppy, falling down drunks.  We scoffed at their amateur drinking abilities and they awes about our Women’s Therapy Network night outs.  Soon, the sun was going down and the bartenders were taking off their clothes. 

 

 

 

Since this is so not our scene, we hailed a cab and went to Bourbon Street.  The Cardinals were in a play-off game and that’s kind of a big deal to us.  We found Bayou Burger.  Darcie worked her magic and got the game on the big screen and with a little “Let’s go Cardinals!” cheer we realized we were amongst fans!

 

Amy tired out early after the game and took a cab back to the hotel.  Darcie and Debbie were having a great time at the sports bar.  Mark and I hit Bourbon Street!

Seriously, it was one of the best nights of my life.  Although a little hazy on details, just being in the crowds on Bourbon Street on a Saturday night was amazing.  I also fulfilled one of my long time dreams of being on a balcony on Bourbon.

We ventured in and out of several venues, navigated the crowds while trying to avoid the transvestites and finally came across a country western bar.  Since I was still nursing my beer from the Bajou Burger, they wouldn’t let us in with drinks in our hands.  We stood outside and listened to the music and chatted with each other, passerbys and the bouncer.  Either the bouncer found us quite annoying or decided he liked us. He poured my beer into one of their cups and sent us inside.  We danced and sang and a really great time.  After walking back from Bourbon Street, we went down to the River Walk for a little bit.  By 4 am, my bed was calling my name and I felt that I accomplished whatever mission I had set out on for a real night out in New Orleans.

The next morning, we got up 20 minutes before check out time, threw all of our stuff in our bags and left the hotel.  We drove over to the Jackson Square and I went to Mass at St. Louis Cathedral while everyone else went to breakfast. 

 

 

 

I met them outside of the cathedral after mass and was delighted to find that Amy brought me Eggs Benedict with Cajun sausage.  Oh my gosh was it ever so delicious!

From there we went to the St. Louis Cemetery to mosey around the mausoleums.  My fascination with cemeteries only grew that much more after this tour.  It was really magnificent.

After the cemetery, we started the journey home.  I slept off and on, but not well.  The drive seemed to take forever, but I managed.  I got home around 1am and crawled into bed.

As nervous as I was about this entire trip, I am so glad I went!  I even came home $150 under budget!

The kids were really happy to have me home too!  I bought them all shirts and a magnet for the fridge.

 

Sometimes it’s good to get away! 

Or as Mark Twain said,

 

Twenty years from now  you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor.  Catch the trade winds in your sails. 

Explore. Dream. Discover.