Grace and I had been texting over the course of Sunday night. She kept saying how she didn’t want to go to
school on Monday. I couldn’t get any
information out of her as to why. I kept
prying, but to no avail. She said she
had been thinking about a lot of things over the weekend and just didn’t want
to go to school. Obviously this concerned
me. Did something happen? Does she not like her school? It just didn’t seem like Grace to be in the
somber almost depressed state. I told
her to sleep on it and let me know how she was feeling in the morning.
Monday morning at 7am, my phone started buzzing. Text messages came pouring in from Grace. She had her dad take her to school, but she
wants to come home. Again, no
explanation, just that she wanted to come home.
I conceded. I assumed that since
I was picking her up before school actually started, all she would need to do
was leave. So, in a sleepy haze I drove
to her school in my pajamas and texted her that I was there.
That’s when she told me I’d have to come to the office to sign her
out. I was mortified as I walked down
the student filled halls in old sweatpants and hoodie sans bra. My makeup was smeared and my hair a
wreck. Grace was quick to comment on my
appearance which did not make matter any better for either of us.
We went home, but she still wouldn’t say what was bothering
her. At this point, I began to realize
that there really wasn’t anything bothering her…other than being homesick. Since I was out of town over the weekend they
stayed one extra night at their dad’s and I didn’t see them at soccer games and
for Mass as I would normally on his weekends.
Grace climbed immediately into her bed. I offered for her to come sleep with me, but
she declined stating that she really just wanted to be in her own bed in her
own room.
At 11am, my phone was ringing again. Good Lord, what does a lady have to do to get
some sleep on a Monday morning!?!
This time it was my mom.
Eva was in her room at school. She didn’t feel well; complaining of a
headache and stomach ache. As long as I
was okay with it, she was going to send Eva to the office to call me to pick
her up.
So, here I go again. To a
different school to get a different kid in the morning on the day I took off
work to sleep. I had my mom check in
with Alex to see if he needed to come home since that seemed to be the popular
thing to do that day, but he was okay with staying at school (Later I find out
she didn’t really ask him. If she would
have, he would have come home too, or so he said).
Eva looked fatigued and sad when I got there. She gave me a big hug and told me how happy
she was to be going home. We climbed
back into my bed and we both napped. I
also think she was homesick. Which was
starting to make me feel like the worst mother ever. Who was I to go on a weekend trip with my
friends and leave my kids to suffer?
The next day, Grace was all better and went back to school. Eva, however, wasn’t. She still complained of a headache and
stomach ache and asked to go to the doctor.
I took another day off work to stay home with her. I’m pretty sure I was severely dehydrated
those two days because everything was blurring and loopy. I needed the extra day off just as much as
she did.
At the doctor’s office, they ran all the normal tests as well as
strep and mono. As suspected, everything
came back negative. We then talked about
emotional issues and the doctor concurred that she might be suffering from
anxiety and/or depression. I got a few
referrals to pediatric counselors.
A couple years back, Grace was having some issues with focus and
attention. She was later diagnosed with
ADD and took medication for about a year.
The medication helped her realize what it felt like to be able to focus
and with the help of a fantastic counselor she developed coping mechanisms and
routines to fight the ADD naturally. She
has excelled academically and socially over the last few years and all of it
has been medicine free.
I contacted the counselor she saw, but unfortunately she has
relocated to Troy. I made an appointment
with a different counselor in the same group we had seen before and my hands
are folded in prayer Eva will like her.
On the drive back from the doctor’s office, we talked about how
she might be feeling. She was having a
hard time putting her feelings into words and I could sense that there were
some things she just didn’t know how to tell me. Eva agreed that she wanted to talk to the
counselor. I let the subject drop once
we got home.
Last night, the kids were with Chris again. Eva was visibly upset that she would have to
spend another night there…especially since they just got home a few days
before. I told her I would see what I
could do to get her dad to allow her to come home on Wednesday night. I asked her if she wanted to talk to him
about it, but she vehemently said she did not feel comfortable talking to him
about anything. Reluctantly, and not
without a verbal lashing aimed at me and my parenting, Chris allowed Eva to
come home. Of course when presenting it
to her, he made it seem like it was all his idea. Whatever.
I picked her up from soccer and we went home.
We are just beginning to dig into what may be troubling my little girl,
but for one night it felt absolutely
perfect to be snuggled on our couch together watching “The Gilmore Girls.”
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