Day Five - Life is Messy

Life is messy, but nobody can take your hope from you.  And if there is one thing that resistance hates, it is hope.  Hold onto your hope no matter how messy life gets, and share it with everyone who crosses your path.

I can have clear and logical ideas in my solitude, quiet place, but real people have to live them in real ways in a very messy world.

Everyone is struggling with something.  I remember when Chris left our family.  I was a mess in my head and my whole world came crumbling down.  But then I had to go out into the real world and everyone was carrying on…my world was a wreck but everyone else was just going about as normal. 

Nobody knows what I am struggling with, but we are all struggling with something.  It is important to realize that everyone is fitting a hard battle.  Be gentle with myself.  Be gentle with other people because everyone is fighting a hard battle.  Life is messy!

What hard battle am I fighting?  What’s my burden?  What’s my messy life?

Right now, the battle I am fighting is making prayer a priority in my day.  I know that if I just got up 15 minutes earlier, or went to my room 15 minutes sooner in the evening, or both, I could devote time to my prayer life.  But I get up in the morning and hit the ground running…dishes, lunches, getting kids ready for school, getting myself ready for work, trying to get out of the house in time.  By the time the kids are dropped off, I mentally start tackling my to do list.  What’s in store for me today at work?  How to I best prioritize?  When I am pulled in 100 different direction, how to I maintain and accomplish what needs to be done or what my superiors need me to do?  I’m stressed before I even get to my desk.

In the evenings, my mind is still racing.  I get the kids to their activities, dinner on the table, preparations for parties/activities, laundry, straightening the house and trying hard to be in the moment with my children.  I find my mind is still circling around work…emails, how to respond, how to approach a situation, how can I structure my next day to see maximum results, all these ideas that seem logical in my mind, are they really going to work?  I feel like I am trying to put an entire puzzle together with no vision of the actual picture and pieces scattered all over the place.  It has become consuming.

I have good intentions to devote the first hour of work to my Lenten reflections, but can’t seem to resist jumping into my emails and conversations with colleagues.  Before I know it, my hour is gone and I’m off and running to meetings and calls and pressing work issues.  I know if I just take the time every morning and every evening to seek God, sit in his presence and ask him “what is your will for my life?  And let thy will be done” the stresses and struggles I am carrying with disappear through the work of God’s hand.

Focus:

Everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle and carrying a heavy load.

Act:

Be gentle with the people who cross your path.  If someone is grumpy or rude, if someone makes a mistake or does something wrong, give them the benefit of the doubt.  You never know what they are carrying around inside.

Pray:

Jesus, thank you for giving me a hope nobody can take from me.  Give me the courage to confront my own mess and share that hope with others.

Amen.