Well, it is officially safe to say that this summer has consumed me. For the last six weeks, we had a lot of fun hanging out with family, hosting birthday parties, taking a little vacation and just soaking up the summer. So much fun has been had!
I've had some ups and downs this summer emotionally. For some reason, my lows have been really, really low. But my highs have only been a little high. It's not that I'm constantly in a bad place, but that when I get to a bad place I have a hard time pulling myself from it. I know a lot has to do with sharing custody of the kids. I feel like I can't make a plan past just a few days because of their time with their dad. They also don't want to spend time with him which makes forcing them to go even harder. And regardless of the amount of time we get together, or lack there of, there is always so much that needs to be done that it doesn't really feel like quality time. Then throw in the friends they want to have over or go to their houses, their moods, and their intense desire to make their own plans, I often feel like I'm completely overwhelmed with the decisions to make decisions.
My parents 40th anniversary is also coming up in a few weeks. We've been working to coordinate a dinner and play to celebrate. Of course, the week prior to the big day is when Chris has decided to take the kids on vacation. The whole idea of my kids going out of state with him is nerve wrecking enough, but now he's sneakily made his "week" into 10 days completely ignoring the fact that the kids need to be home by 6pm on August 7th. It will be a miracle if they are back in time for the anniversary party which has literally brought me to tears several times today.
Grace turned 15 on Sunday and requested to get her permit on Monday. I sent her the Driver's Ed book six months ago and scheduled the afternoon off not long after that. I reminded her often that she needed to study and even went so far as to offer to reschedule my day off for another couple weeks down the road if she didn't feel like she was prepared. She insured me she was ready. So, I took the day.
And she failed. Twice. I know I should be supportive and encouraging and try to build her confidence back up because she was upset that she didn't pass. But I'm not. I'm pissed. She put very little effort into learning the material. She took some online practice tests but never once read the book. I put more effort into getting her to the testing site than she did on learning the information. I flipped out on her a bit yesterday, but I'm seriously still really mad that the day was ruined because she didn't hold up her end. TO PASS THE FREAKING TEST!!!
I know she's not a great test taker, but COME ON! She didn't even open the book!
So, yeah, this week has been pretty crummy.
But, we really have had some great times this summer. We made a lot of great memories on our little trip.
Today, I just needed to vent!
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