When I started writing here in my new space, I said I wasn’t going
to talk much about my divorce. I switched
venues and chose a new name as a way to leave the negative past behind. I wanted a place that was about my journey
with my kids. However, as much as I’d
like to pretend he is no longer a part of our lives, he does still exist.
And here I am, for two days in a row talking about him. He doesn’t deserve any of my time or mental
energy, but when my kids are involved, I have to pay attention. My number one goal of this blog is for the
kids to have a place to return to remember our journey. The good parts, mainly. But it’s really only fair to give them the
bad and ugly as well.
I don’t mean to bash their father.
He had just as much of a role in their existence as I did. The difference is that beyond creation, he
really has no claims to fatherhood. What
I for so long dismissed, ignored or made excuses for has now become a
glaring declaration of who he truly is and stands for. Although the emotionlessness and psycho
babble still have the ability to enrage me, I have learned a lot in how to
handle these types of situations. I
think that is why the events on Sunday disturbed me so much. I’ve come too far to sink back to his level.
But part of getting healthy is to be able to make mistakes and
move on. One of his favorite ways to
torment me was to make everything my fault.
He was really good at this. And
mentally, I still think about every situation as to how I could have prevented
it from happening. It’s sick that this
is what he has done to me. If a glass
broke, I should have known it’s placement in the cabinet and exercised precise movement
in opening the cabinet to avoid the glass from falling. If I couldn’t do that, than I should have
anticipated it falling and used nothing less than ninja like skills to prevent
it from hitting the ground. Crazy! But this is how he manipulated and how I lived. I am still recovering….it is a long
road.
Here’s a great example of distracting from the matter at hand and
spinning the situation to place the blame elsewhere:
On Wed, 09/10/14 at
8:01 AM, Renee Rodriguez wrote:
To: Chris Rodriguez
Subject: Child Support
(September)
Message:
Good Morning,
The first child support payment for September has not posted to the CSS account as of this morning.
Can you tell me when you made the payment?
It was due on 9/1 (which was a holiday) so I figured there would be somewhat of a delay. However, it's now over a week past due and worrisome that it hasn't been posted to be dispersed. I will call them, but wanted to get any information from you first.
Thanks for your help.
The first child support payment for September has not posted to the CSS account as of this morning.
Can you tell me when you made the payment?
It was due on 9/1 (which was a holiday) so I figured there would be somewhat of a delay. However, it's now over a week past due and worrisome that it hasn't been posted to be dispersed. I will call them, but wanted to get any information from you first.
Thanks for your help.
On Wed, 09/10/14 at
8:11 AM, Chris Rodriguez wrote:
To: Renee Rodriguez
Subject: RE: Child Support
(September)
Message:
that is concerning. it
was sent on 9/2. I'll follow up with them today
On Wed, 09/10/14 at
8:44 AM, Renee Rodriguez wrote:
To: Chris Rodriguez
Subject: RE: Child Support
(September)
Message:
I just talked with
CSS. They have not received anything since 8/21. They advised for me to call
the Jeff City office, but that I'd need some additional information.
I need to know the check number, amount and date of the check.
Can you provide that information, please?
Thanks.
I need to know the check number, amount and date of the check.
Can you provide that information, please?
Thanks.
·
From:Chris Rodriguez
·
To: Renee Rodriguez (First View: 09/10/2014 9:18 AM)
·
Sent:09/10/2014 9:17
AM
·
Subject:RE: Child
Support (September)
Message:
at the hospital now.
will check when i get to office. wanna say 2880. 412.69 but can't say for sure.
the address they gave me is Jeff city though if that helps.
On Wed, 09/10/14 at
9:37 AM, Chris Rodriguez wrote:
To: Renee Rodriguez
Subject: RE: Child Support
(September)
Message:
amount was $412.61.
check is either 4880 or 4879. sorry brad doesn't record them very well. can u
give me the number that u call? maybe I can send directly to them or set up
direct deposit. getting the run around at Jeff city usually and seems silly to
send it out there in the first place if there's any other option.
To: Chris Rodriguez
Subject: RE: Child Support
(September)
Message:
Thanks.
They said it was received yesterday and is processing.
Their number is 888-761-3665.
Do you know why the amount is $412.61? CS is $794 plus a retro amount of $100 bringing the total to $894. That in 2 payments should be $447.00.
Also, I never received a payment for school supplies. That amount owed is $118.00.
They said it was received yesterday and is processing.
Their number is 888-761-3665.
Do you know why the amount is $412.61? CS is $794 plus a retro amount of $100 bringing the total to $894. That in 2 payments should be $447.00.
Also, I never received a payment for school supplies. That amount owed is $118.00.
·
From:Chris Rodriguez
·
To: Renee Rodriguez (First
View: 09/10/2014 10:34 AM)
·
Sent:09/10/2014 10:30
AM
·
Subject:RE: Child
Support (September)
Message:
It was your decision
to purchase school supplies without consulting me. Just because you decide to
create an expense for me, it does not require me to pay it. That would be like
me going in and creating an expense for all the new shoes I bought for all the
kids and expecting you to pay for it, just because I created an expense in the
system. I'm sure you wouldn't appreciate that, or feel as if you should pay it.
It comes down to better communication. I could have just as easily gotten school supplies and actually already had some. But the fact of the matter is that you would prefer to control everything. I may contribute some money towards this "expense" but in the future, we need to agree on an amount before you just decide, on your own, to go buy whatever you decide to, spending whatever you decide to, then expecting me to pay for 1/2.
In order for us to come to an agreement on these situations, we need a list of supplies that are needed. Then, we can discuss whether or not we can split the acquisition of the list, or if one of us is going to grab everything and receive any compensation.
Regarding the amount of the child support, the amount is correct. I suggest you take it up with Family Support Services, as they provided the amount to be garnished from my wages. I suspect it has to do with my pay periods being bi-weekly.
Have a great day. Thanks.
It comes down to better communication. I could have just as easily gotten school supplies and actually already had some. But the fact of the matter is that you would prefer to control everything. I may contribute some money towards this "expense" but in the future, we need to agree on an amount before you just decide, on your own, to go buy whatever you decide to, spending whatever you decide to, then expecting me to pay for 1/2.
In order for us to come to an agreement on these situations, we need a list of supplies that are needed. Then, we can discuss whether or not we can split the acquisition of the list, or if one of us is going to grab everything and receive any compensation.
Regarding the amount of the child support, the amount is correct. I suggest you take it up with Family Support Services, as they provided the amount to be garnished from my wages. I suspect it has to do with my pay periods being bi-weekly.
Have a great day. Thanks.
·
From:Renee Rodriguez
·
To: Chris Rodriguez (First View: Never)
·
Sent:09/10/2014 10:57
AM
·
Subject:RE: Child
Support (September)
Message:
School supplies are
not an expense we need to agree upon. As the custodial parent, it is my right
to purchase items that the children need and to submit the expense for
reimbursement. I provided a detailed receipt of items purchased. As the
non-custodial parent, it is your right to communicate with me in regards to
certain items (i.e. school supplies) that you would like to purchase for the
children. If you would have communicated with me, we could have made different
arrangments on these supplies. However, it is my responsibility as the
custodial parent to provide for the kids needs. I cannot simply wait for you to
ask how you can help.
If you purchased any supplies, please feel free to keep them at your house for the kids to complete homework while they are with you (as outlined in the parenting plan). Alex has already had missing assignments from the nights he was with you. His reasoning for not completing the assignments was that there was no loose leaf paper at your house. I have supplied an additional pack of paper for Alex to keep in his book bag, so that this situation does not arise again.
The family wizard is the communication tool that is used for these items. I have followed all requirements in regards to communication. The parenting plan and this family wizard are in place so that I do not have to ask your permission to purchase items that the kids require. If you really wished to contribute towards school supplies in a manner other than reimbursement, you would have needed to communicate that to me. You also received the school supply list just as I did.
Sadly, I don't expect to see any type of reimbursement from you for this or any other expense. However, as dictated through court order, I will continue to submit expenses for reimbursement and continue to follow up on these expenses.
Thank you for the information in regards to the child support amount. I will talk to our case worker about this along with a several other items.
If you purchased any supplies, please feel free to keep them at your house for the kids to complete homework while they are with you (as outlined in the parenting plan). Alex has already had missing assignments from the nights he was with you. His reasoning for not completing the assignments was that there was no loose leaf paper at your house. I have supplied an additional pack of paper for Alex to keep in his book bag, so that this situation does not arise again.
The family wizard is the communication tool that is used for these items. I have followed all requirements in regards to communication. The parenting plan and this family wizard are in place so that I do not have to ask your permission to purchase items that the kids require. If you really wished to contribute towards school supplies in a manner other than reimbursement, you would have needed to communicate that to me. You also received the school supply list just as I did.
Sadly, I don't expect to see any type of reimbursement from you for this or any other expense. However, as dictated through court order, I will continue to submit expenses for reimbursement and continue to follow up on these expenses.
Thank you for the information in regards to the child support amount. I will talk to our case worker about this along with a several other items.
Wow! And to think this is
how he communicated with me for over 13 years.
Here’s how I can decipher it now.
First of all, it’s “concerning” because you didn’t actually mail
the payment on 9/2 like you are saying you did.
And I know that now. You will
call them because you don’t want me to find out that you didn’t really send the
check when you are saying you did.
It’s also Brad’s fault that he doesn’t keep good records. Although we
both know you are the one that does the “record keeping”. You also need the number so that you can call
to see if you can get them to lie on your behalf or cause a scene before I make
the inquiry. Too bad I called prior to
receiving the updated information. Funny
thing, they were able to tell me what I needed with the first set of
information you provided. Weird that you
are getting the “run around” when the only thing you have to do is put a check
in the mail….but again, it’s not your fault.
The lady I talked to ensured me that the check was not mailed on 9/2,
but there was no reason to tell him that.
He really thought I might just forget about the school supply
expense he still owes. His first
sentence really sums up exactly how he views his children and his role as a
parent:
And the fact that I’m asking for $118 for supplies for 3 kids…meaning
I spent $236 to send the kids to school with all of the supplies they need... is
too exuberant for your budget?!? Heck….I
should have been praised for the bargain hunting that took place to outfit 3
kids for school at that price. But, the
money isn’t the issue. It’s the control.
Oh wait….that’s what you are saying I’m doing.
I’m trying to control the situation.
That brings me to my favorite quote:
”Every
projection the sociopath spews in your direction is soaked with the truth of
who and what he is; not who are what you are.”
It does come down to better communication. If you wanted to buy school supplies for the kids, YOU should have communicated that to ME. Not the other way around. And those few supplies you did buy? What were they? Clearly not loose leaf, pens or pencils. I supplied additional materials for the kids to keep in their backpacks so they could do their homework while at your house. Hmmm….
Oh wait….they did!
At the Back to School Night in which you attended with the kids.
You were given a list of all of the supplies the kids were going to need. It was one week before school started. You had the kids that whole weekend and you had the kids on their first day of school. You didn’t even know I had gone out on my “off weekend” and purchased the supplies they needed. I kept the receipt and refrained from labeling any of the items until the night before their first day of school. Then, I met the kids on their first day with all of their supplies. Not once did you even think about what they needed to go back to school.
You literally took them to their first day of school with nothing other than the back pack I sent with them.
·
From:Renee Rodriguez
·
To:
o Chris Rodriguez
·
Sent:09/10/2014 10:57
AM
·
Subject:RE: Child
Support (September)
Message:
School supplies are
not an expense we need to agree upon. As the custodial parent, it is my right
to purchase items that the children need and to submit the expense for
reimbursement. I provided a detailed receipt of items purchased. As the
non-custodial parent, it is your right to communicate with me in regards to
certain items (i.e. school supplies) that you would like to purchase for the
children. If you would have communicated with me, we could have made different
arrangements on these supplies. However, it is my responsibility as the
custodial parent to provide for the kids’ needs. I cannot simply wait for you
to ask how you can help.
If you purchased any supplies, please feel free to keep them at your house for the kids to complete homework while they are with you (as outlined in the parenting plan). Alex has already had missing assignments from the nights he was with you. His reasoning for not completing the assignments was that there was no loose leaf paper at your house. I have supplied an additional pack of paper for Alex to keep in his book bag, so that this situation does not arise again.
The family wizard is the communication tool that is used for these items. I have followed all requirements in regards to communication. The parenting plan and this family wizard are in place so that I do not have to ask your permission to purchase items that the kids require. If you really wished to contribute towards school supplies in a manner other than reimbursement, you would have needed to communicate that to me. You also received the school supply list just as I did.
Sadly, I don't expect to see any type of reimbursement from you for this or any other expense. However, as dictated through court order, I will continue to submit expenses for reimbursement and continue to follow up on these expenses.
Thank you for the information in regards to the child support amount. I will talk to our case worker about this along with a several other items.
If you purchased any supplies, please feel free to keep them at your house for the kids to complete homework while they are with you (as outlined in the parenting plan). Alex has already had missing assignments from the nights he was with you. His reasoning for not completing the assignments was that there was no loose leaf paper at your house. I have supplied an additional pack of paper for Alex to keep in his book bag, so that this situation does not arise again.
The family wizard is the communication tool that is used for these items. I have followed all requirements in regards to communication. The parenting plan and this family wizard are in place so that I do not have to ask your permission to purchase items that the kids require. If you really wished to contribute towards school supplies in a manner other than reimbursement, you would have needed to communicate that to me. You also received the school supply list just as I did.
Sadly, I don't expect to see any type of reimbursement from you for this or any other expense. However, as dictated through court order, I will continue to submit expenses for reimbursement and continue to follow up on these expenses.
Thank you for the information in regards to the child support amount. I will talk to our case worker about this along with a several other items.
No comments:
Post a Comment